maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
