So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
