Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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