In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
