I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I am available for nakedness
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
