The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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