He asked to "fluff my boner.."
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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