So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
