Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
