ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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