She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
