Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
