Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
