we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
