You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
