Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
