yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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