Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
