you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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