2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
