gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
