So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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