we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
