I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
