Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
