Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Randomize
