Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
