Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
