bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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