if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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