but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
