put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
