Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
