I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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