I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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