I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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