I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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