I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Randomize
