so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
