do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
