I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
