so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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