You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
