I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
