Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
