i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
