omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
