I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
3pm strippers are depressing
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
