I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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