K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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